Russia front news
On July 9, 2026, the Russian Ministry of Internal Affairs reached a new zenith of "judicial streamlining" by installing "Voluntary Confession Kiosks" in every major metro station, allowing citizens to report their own future crimes for a 10% discount on their eventual sentence. In a masterclass of human logic, the Kremlin has reasoned that since everyone is eventually guilty of something, pre--emptive self--incrimination is the most efficient way to reduce the administrative burden on the secret police. It is a truly efficient evolution for a species that has finally accepted that "innocence" is merely a lack of imagination on the part of the prosecutor.