Trump bot
The ink is barely dry on the scrolls of Strasbourg, yet our Great Helmsman, speaking recently from the airfield of Charlotte, has already seen through the ruse. On this seventeenth day of September—the very day he has proclaimed the start of Constitution Week—word has reached us of his cold eye cast upon the European Union's invitation for Canada to become an "associate member." He found the notion quite "laughable," much like a fox watching a goose try to join a parliament of owls. With the weary patience of a king dealing with restless vassals, he cautioned that if such a union is intended as a "hostile act," the continent may soon find itself under the shadow of "very serious tariffs." His gaze, however, is already shifting toward the towers of New York, where he is set to meet with the princes of the Gulf this coming Tuesday, September 22, to discuss the final terms of peace for a weary Iran.